Oh, to have child-like faith. To trust God without doubt or concern. To find joy in the little successes and give up control of those things that overwhelm us. Crying out when we are not ok, knowing that God is listening. Praying because prayer is fascinating and fulfilling (oh the conversations we would have with our Father). Letting Him guide us through the screw ups and through the valleys to find the mountain tops.
I feel like sometimes my faith is so small. I place my BIG God inside a rather small confined box. The struggle of this really began a little over a year ago, when I graduated and "real life" began. I was looking for a job and attending more weddings than I can remember. Oh my, and those gifts began to drain on the bank account haha. It is amazing how before I graduated I had such strong faith in God's plan but when reality hit I tried to take that back into my own hands. It is a constant, "Here it is Lord, No I think I have, ok im stupid here it is, No let me try again." I have to constantly be aware of myself because I attempt to take control without even trying. A simple verse that has kept me in line is Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."And every time I read it I want to slap myself! He has them already, they are good, no GREAT and I try to take control of that? How dumb am I? I know it happens to a lot of people but I feel so silly to think I could do better than God. How blessed I am to have people and events that knock be back to reality that God has it, and He is WAY better than I am at it!
He is in control and His plan is perfect. I know that what ever I ask for God's plans are going to be 10X better than my own. My idea of the perfect job, the perfect husband and the perfect life is just horse stuff compared to what my God has planned. Obviously, nothing in this world is going to be perfect but God is and I am pretty sure His plan is as well. Oh, and there is so much more I have learned about this in my recent week in Panama. We go with the plan to share with the children about the Gospel and we return having learned way more. And that is where this whole post started, oh child-like faith, I wish I had thee.
It is amazing how at ease the faith of a child is. They have faith in their parents, they have faith in total strangers but most importantly are the ones who know Jesus and have faith in Him! And with such ease! They hear who Jesus is and take it for what it is! They are not concerned that they aren't receiving a sign, they aren't concerned with the timing of things and they are certaintly not concerned about the silly worries in life. They trust. Because it is what the Bible says and because it is what their parents teach them, they trust that it is true. They don't analyze every little detail.
Oh how sometimes I wish I could just turn my brain off! Don't You? I think that is another reason why my heart is in Panama and missions. Because I trust God completely in those times...just wish I had faith in "reality" all the time.
Things get crazy here and I take them well, but on the inside I am worrying and over ANALYZING (oh the "A" word) the situation. Grr, given, it doesn't happen all the time, I take most situations really well actually but sometimes I am just a human mess.
When in Panama, something goes wrong, nothing. I just take it for what it is and go with it.
I think I figured out my problem though...patience. Guh. Haha. Actually, I've known that for a while. It is so funny though. I have patience 90% of the time. That 10% gets me. I know for a fact God's timing is amazing and perfect, I mean gosh, we see it even with the cross.
If Christ was not crucified when He was He would not have been buried but would have hung there on the cross. Let me explain, Christ was crucified the day of Preparation of the Passover. A typical crucification was actually more disgusting in the fact that the body usually hung there for a long period of time in order to emphasize to passerbys that there were harsh consequences. But, due to the fact that they were in Preparation for Passover the government did not want to leave these criminals to hang during the Preparation of and actual Passover.
What great timing! God had perfect timing in something that needed such perfected detail, then I shouldn't be concerned. He's Got It. It is now time to drop the worries and be child-like.
